Tint my windows,
with your moods.
For calm white disturbs me now.
I am, but a window;
Bound by the frigid pain.
A colorless presence,
Physical, yet never really seen.
Am I only defined when you take shelter within?
Defined by the drapes you adorn me with,
By the possibilities I present to you,
By the nostalgia I represent to another.
You hold me, yet look through me to another.
While another looks into my soul.
I have no color, no skin to protect me;
Except the ones you draw at night.
Strange how when there's abundant light shining on you,
And you're comfortable within your own space,
You open me; to let in the very air
That you built me to protect you from.
It's then that I'm a mirror,
That reflects all the light outside;
While letting enough in to illuminate you.
And you revel.
Yet when it's dark outside,
And I try to reflect your own light to you,
Your self, an image; drawn on my bare body;
You shut me out,
Drape the heavy weight of darkness on me.
Abandoning me, just to escape your own reality.
Afraid, I'd expose it to unwitting passer-bys.
I've withstood the rain and sunshine,
Bitter cold and scorching heat.
For you to seek me only to gaze at rainbows.
This calmness, this peace is dull now.
If peace had a presence, would it have space beside you?
No, for you live to seek out the unlived drama.
Hidden lives, within enclosed walls and tightly wound windows,
While the world marvels at the symmetry of your façade.
Let me in on your drama,
Paint me, and paint me wild.
Paint me red for the pangs of passion;
That seldom burn and oft burn out within you.
Paint me blue for the freedom of the skies;
That your ego seeks from the prison of your façade.
Paint me green for the ever-growing foliage;
That grows like weed within your soul's distraught garden.
Paint me yellow for the sun;
That turns fluorescent, brighter, when mixed with your bold essence.
Paint me orange like the fallen autumn leaves;
That smolder with your burning desires, and unfulfilled; lie in a gigantic heap, reminiscent of the glory of the fall.
Paint me, paint me;
Throw your moods to drench my body.
Anything to partake in the eternal dance within your mind.
Anything to escape this forced calm,
This perfect exterior;
This convenience of existence,
A magic show of veiling and unveiling;
Driven by your choice of another's perspective's discernment.
Paint me darling, and see me grow character;
And then let's dance together,
Make passer-bys wonder about what lies within;
Perfection and symmetry merely generate the validation of conformity;
Colors, on the otherwise colorless, spark intrigue.
For that which is colored;
Shall never be lifeless again.
And that, what's boldly revealed;
Will hold its own, within itself.
If peace had a presence, would it have space to coexist beside you? We're all searching for peace within and with another, but once we find someone with that peace, how do we coexist? If either partner/ person is not comfortable in their own skin, the other; more peaceful one embodies a mere beautiful facade. The other partner's drama takes on various colors, while the transparency of the other is often misused, abused and controlled. The only way to exit such a toxic dynamic is to exit the relationship itself. But that's tougher than fighting a fire breathing dragon with a blindfold isn't it? So, many choose to stay on. This choice, however, changes the relationship dynamic. Here the peaceful, transparent partner starts taking on the passionate colors of the other. I mean how much can u let pass by right? That's when the toxic dynamic becomes worse - turning to absolute revenge based, hurt inducing, continued competition of who can best whom better to be the worst! And strangely this doesn't feel toxic to either partners for they easily adjust to this fear-based dynamic of hurt. This perversely validates their love for one another and is mistaken as 'just the way he/she shows affection'. And this tint stays on. This poetry takes a slightly different route, to explore the faint possibility of the partners growing together in color. But hey, multitude of perspectives is what makes us human!
So, which way would you like to tint your windows? Or maybe you're done with the facade?