Need me.
Every day
every moment
of every hour,
need me.
But
Don't tell me that you do.
Don't speak of it in
the incessant babble of
a frantic toddler
that craves for an all-consuming love.
But
don't you forget
to need me.
And then,
when we speak,
tell me
that you need me.
But
don't tell me directly,
for that would be akin to
lassoing a rope tight around my neck,
clinging on and
asphyxiating me.
No,
No.
Tell me it indirectly.
Oh, how they taught you to
when you were young,
you see?
Present me with all your anguish
in ways that only I can
understand and miraculously resolve.
Oh, no,
I don't care about your solutions.
Or the problems,
or you.
But I care enough,
to know that you care
enough to ask me
so that
you can know that I
care enough to listen
and
am worthy enough to absolve you.
Talk about your life
but leave out the gory details.
Too much detail,
too much emotion,
and I will turn off
into a wall that will only shut down on you.
No,
No.
Tell me about your flaws enough,
so I am assured
that I have none so incriminating.
Tell me about your wasteful activities
so I am assured
I do better every moment.
Tell me about your worthless friends
so I am assured
I am the crowning jewel of your collection.
Tell me about your ever erring ways
so I can tut-tut
in the familiarly intimate way
and berate you lovingly
while I lay out the obvious remedy
to turn your blundering ways around.
Come on,
Be considerate!
Don't tell me
everything
that you have
managed to do.
I do not take interest
in those details where I
cannot don the mantle of
the worthy hero
that I am.
You dare boast
of your paltry achievements
when the real valor is mine
in putting up with an
ungracious nonentity!
Such boastful behavior
won't do you any good.
And I won't feel needed anymore.
And then,
I won't be able to show you
that I care for you.
So,
I won't talk to you.
I would talk about you.
I would smile politely at you
and scowl the minute you turn.
Actually,
If you don't need me,
I will probably discredit you with your
close ones
or wider,
depending on my anguish
at your erring ways,
you see?
So much so
that you will start
seeking counsel with me again.
So you see,
you need me.
Every day
every moment
of every hour,
You need me.
Image Courtesy: A crazy person's dream
How revolting was this monologue to read? By the end of it you probably wanted to punch the speaker. If you were honest however, didn't you feel like you knew the speaker? Like they were a person you probably just spoke to a few moments, minutes, days back?
But no, it's not the person you're thinking of. Not even the second or third person that comes to your mind.
It's you. A bare, naked you, who's still just the terrified infant pining for an all-consuming love.
Just think of it as the disheveled person in the mirror looking back at you at the oddest moment of truth, and you'll know who it is.
Here's to a ruminative Sunday noon, Happy Sunday!