There you are
Sitting on the bench
Cradling your phone
Like you wish you were.
Your thumb caressing
A million words.
All alone.
Bent like a fetus
That folds on to itself
Before it’s ever held.
Maybe because it wasn't.
Neck dropping to the navel
In a desire
To be cocooned again.
There you are
Standing against a wall
Listening to your friends
Talk about their stories
With all the attention
You pilfered from yours.
Too afraid to ask for
What you're petrified to offer.
There you are
A glass of whiskey
And a little ice
Hands numb with the cold
That reaches your brain
Just enough
For the warmth to seep
Outside you.
There you are
Laughing at a man
Who makes mockery
Of misery for a living
In hopes that laughter
Will shake up the grave
Inside.
There you are
Screening people off screens
For a life of hope
Yet trading it in
For a night of desire
Getting naked
Without dropping your layers
Returning with nothing
But the imprint of skin.
There you are
Filling every moment of your day
With screaming screens
Triggering jingles and words
Cramming in till the uvula
Only to be regurgitated
In the very conversations
Your friends
Don’t want to have
But have to
Because they too have a lot stuck in
Their throats.
So,
There you are
On a Sunday noon
Wondering
Am I
Where should I be?
Image Courtesy: Sketch series: A man bending over - Theo van Doesburg
Do you ever feel as though you're present, but still spluttering in the fomo (fear of missing out)? It's a constant feeling of not being where you should be because once you are where you are, it already seems irrelevant, unnecessary and possibly even boring.
The result maybe non-presence and consequentially a need to be over-present while battling with memories or desires of possibly another present. If our minds had gps, and people could access it, we would seldom be in the location our body is in! And the effects of this locational difference are not only positional but also conceptual and neurologically lasting - something that is too vast to cover here especially when today, I wander across several locations myself.
Since today morning, I've been from Venice to Hyderabad, from admiring cherry blossoms to understanding Huberman's take on sugary drinks and hedonic self, from swimming pools to heated pools in Shimla, from Japan's street food to Mumbai's vada pao and more.
In maybe less than fifteen minutes of making breakfast, tidying up, sitting and eating, I have switched my locations across the globe all while wondering across a less than 500 sft area with a screen in my hand.
The prose above seeks to directly speak to the reader and maybe spark a sense of understanding of their sense of location as they go through the motions of this weekend and more. This Sunday, join me in wondering if you are where you should be, if you should be anywhere at all, and then maybe, is should even the right reference point..
Happy Sunday!